The Sin of Self-Love
We love – to love – ourselves. In fact this might very well be the best and most appropriate description of our society in that we long to love ourselves. John Piper wrote many years ago “One of the most essential elements of the spirit of this decade is that the ultimate sin is no longer the failure to honor God and thank him, but the failure to esteem oneself. Self-abasement, not God-abasement, is the ultimate evil. And the cry of deliverance from this evil is not, “O wretched man that I am, who will deliver me?” But rather, “O worthy man that I am, would that I could only see it better!”
Today the great and first commandment is, “Thou shalt love thyself.”… For ten years the cult of the self has been expanding at phenomenal speed. What distresses me in all this is not merely what I regard to be an unbiblical shift of focus from God to man as the goal of redemption, but also the lack of opposition to the spread of this cult.”
What is alarming to me is that this was written in 1977, and if that was the case then how much more so today is this cult of self-love.
Matthew begins by tells us that the mother and James and John came before Jesus kneeling asking for something form the Lord.
As Jesus’ ministry was coming to end, and as they were making their way towards Jerusalem, it appears many of the apostles believed that Jesus’ promise to usher in the kingdom was close at hand. And so they believed then it was only a matter of time before Jesus would begin to assign positions within His kingdom. Not wishing to be left of the high ranking positions James and John convince their mother to go before Jesus with a request.
A close reading of all four gospels shows us that there is a very real and probable chance that James and John’s mother was named Samone who also happened to be Jesus’ mother Mary’s sister. This then would have made Jesus and James and John first cousins. And so wishing to have high positions within Jesus’ kingdom they believed that Jesus might be more compassionate to a request made by His aunt. And so she asked for a favor. And when Jesus asked what it was she requested that her boys could be seated at the right and left of Jesus. Such positions were the highest positions in any kingdom.
In essence these boys believed that power or greatness could be achieved through position and prestige. Much like the Pharisees and Scribes who wanted to sit at the places of honor, they believed that greatness could be achieved through who you knew. SO they tried to use their mother, Jesus’ aunt to help pull strings to get them such positions. This lead to a presumption on James and John’s part.
Presumption
The problem with James and John and really with all the disciples was that they still viewed the kingdom in terms of splendor and grandness. They never presumed that the kingdom in reality the kingdom would consist of suffering and tribulation. They thought that since Jesus would reign over this kingdom that it would be glorious and free from persecution. They believed that the way to gain such a kingdom was to put your requests in now for a prime spot in line. Their presumption was that such a kingdom came at an easy price. Unfortunately their presumption was dead wrong.
Despite all Jesus had taught, and especially in light of Jesus’ preceding teachings of his coming sufferings, cruelty and eventual crucifixion, they thought of the kingdom only in terms of glory and honor. Still after all Jesus had taught they did not realize that the kingdom meant lowliness, sacrifice, and rejection in this world.
Here in verse 22 Jesus answered their request by stating that they “did not know what they were asking.” He wasked them if they could drink, were even able to drink, the cup that he was going to have to drink.” Jesus reminded James and John that although they thought they could drink the cup they did not know what it was they were asking to participate in. Jesus called this “drinking the cup.”
To drink of the cup was a particular common expression meaning to “to stay with something until completion.” It became associated then with endurance and counting the cost to see something through till the end. What Jesus was asking these men were if they were able to endure with Him till the end? No glory without the guts, no success without the suffering, no victory without the agony. In others words were they able to count the cost of what it meant to be a follower of Christ, even if it meant to suffer to see it through to the end.
Jesus gently reminded them “You do not know what you are asking.” Much like when our child comes up to us and asks us for something, and we know that it is not the best thing for them because we have been there and done that…. And so we tell them that their request will actually be difficult for them, but they can’t realize the cost of what it is that they are asking until they actually have gone through the process.
Much like Carolina getting her driver’s license isn’t all the glory and fun she thought it was going to be, sometimes we have to experience the pain for ourselves to fully grasp the situation. So it was with James and John.
They thought they understood, they thought they could handle what went with inheriting the kingdom and the glory of being one of its leaders but in reality they had no idea what it was that they were actually asking. They were too wrapped up in getting all the special treatment they thought they deserved for following Christ. They were too busy worrying about themselves and their glory in sitting with Christ at his right and left hand to realize the price to pay for such a privilege would be paved with suffering and sacrifice.
To drink the cup and be associated with Jesus and His sufferings meant sacrificing with Jesus till the end. Their replay was of course filled with pride and presumption, “We can!”
And yet only weeks later in the garden of Gethsemane as Jesus was arrested we read of every single disciple running as quickly as they could when this cup of suffering passed their way.
Jesus answered that there would come a day and time when they would indeed drink of the cup. Acts 12:-2 describe James’ drinking the cup of suffering in that he became the first apostle to be martyred for faith in Christ when he was killed by Herod with the sword. John’s cup would come much later and would come in the form of longevity and loneness. Being the last of all the apostles to die, John watched as his brother and every other apostle was murdered and eventually John ended up an old man relegated in isolation on the island of Patmos.
Powers of Persuasion
After hearing James and John being so brazen to ask to sit at Jesus’ right and left side one can only imagine how the others must have felt. Scripture tells us that they were indignant, outraged if you will, at the nerve of these two friends to try and place themselves above the others, but not for reasons you and I might think of. Some I believe were indignant that they could do such a thing but most if not all were indignant because they would have the same intentions and saw others trying to advance over them.
They had the same selfish intentions as wanting the chief seats or else why be so mad. Why should they care who get promoted and to what degree if they only thought of themselves as lowly servants anyway, right? Spurgeon commented on this by saying “When these two sought precedence for themselves they could not bear it…When the heard it they were unanimously angry with the upstarts. That they were moved with indignation was a proof that they were ambitious themselves, or at least that they were not willing to take the lowest place. Because they were guilty of the same fault, they were moved with indignation against the two brethren. Here was a sad division in the little camp; how could it be healed?”
Spurgeon asked a great question at the end of that quote “How could the division that had resulted within the group be mended?” There was coming a time when these men would mature to the point that they themselves would all drink of the cup of suffering in due time but that was future and for the moment these band of brothers needed future explanation and teaching on the kingdom and what it meant to be a follower of Jesus.
Our Lord began by pointing out that human nature is too put oneself ahead of others at all cost. Human nature always seeks what is best for itself and self-promotion. Be it by excessive force by ‘lording’ their authority over others or by manipulation of truth, men who wish to be great always seeks to give themselves any advantage it can so that they can make sure they get what they believe they deserve.
2 Timothy 4:3 tells us that “the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.”
What these two brothers and the rest of the lot are acting like should come as no surprise to us because the sad reality is that self-love; self-promotion always seeks its own best at the expensive of others. I know that I can and have in the past manipulated circumstances to make sure that I got the credit that I felt I deserved and I believe you have as well.
It takes a life that is not consumed with this world to live above such manipulation and excessive force, in others words it takes a life redeemed by the Holy Spirit does it not?
And so those wishing to be great in the kingdom of God should not seek its own selfish desires but as Jesus is going to teach, should seek the needs of others above its own.
Pursuit of Selflessness
Look at verse 26 if you will. “It shall not be among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
A life that is great by God’s standard is a life that is not seeking its own self advancement but rather seeks to sever others. A life that is great in the Lord’s eyes is not focused on self-glory, not focused on self-promotion, not focused on self-love but on selfless devotion for others.
Gunther Bornkamnn in his book Jesus of Nazereth was right when he stated “We are most skilled in the love of ourselves; whether in selfish passion or in cool reflection, whether prompted by blind instinct or by some ideal, we desire our own self.” This is our nature and yet Christ calls us to a higher standard, one that is to give his life for the lives of others.
A life that is focused on serving others must take its cue from Christ. Christ is God and yet humbled himself by taking the form of a servant being born in the likeness of men. He served His disciples through example when He washed their feet, a job that was left to the lowliest of slaves and yet none of them were willing to do this insignificant and demeaning job. Christ willingly gave His life for sinners and so He is our ultimate example.
If anyone ever lived to that deserved to be served it was our Lord and yet His example was not to consider Himslef more important than the needs of others. He did so by giving His life as a ransom for us. Ransom takes its use from the warfare and the price it took to bring a prisoner back out of captivity. We have become slaves to sin and cannot do anything about it. But Christ took it upon Himself to pay the price to be set free from sin. In reality He became sin for us, he took the punishment for sin and in doing so appeased the wrath of God.
How then can we think of ourselves when we have been bought as so great a price? What makes this particular teaching so foundational for us is that back in verses 17-19 Christ told in great detail that He was going to be delivered over and condemned to death. He would be mocked, flogged, and eventually crucified. And as if they never heard a word He spoke verse 20 picks up not with the disciples contemplating the death and resurrection of Christ but with a mother and her two sons attempting to vie for the high ranking positions within the kingdom. What a shame.
Again I would love to tell you that after this message they finally understood what he meant to denying yourself and giving your life away for others but even as recent as the night before His very death Luke 22 tells us that “a dispute also arose among them, as to which one was to be regarded as the greatest.”
So it is with us. We must be reminded time and time and time again that the way up is down, the way to greatness is through giving oneself on behalf of others. May God be patience with us until we learn this lesson.
